What if’s?

It’s been quite a while since I lost in touch with my old friends and I wanted to keep distant to focus on my dreams. When I look back time didn’t stop. I have developed a kind of emptiness in my life which were filled by my friends and living abroad is not helping at all. I was unable to make new friends not because I am not social but whomever I met here I have been unable to build that rapport which was like cakewalk for me back in India.

I don’t know if it’s the place or the people are so cold or it’s just me who should put an effort but back in India it was so effortless. People reciprocated. It seems when you stay in a western country no one gives a damn not that they want to build any sorts of friendships. They already had a group when I came here which made it really difficult to get in.

Actually, when we stay in India people like to talk, get along with you, know you but life here in a western country as an Indian is completely different. My friend phoned me after like 7 years and since then I just want to go back to the time and country. Why is time flying so fast?

When we were kids each day looked so long and monotonous and I felt I am never going to grow up as it looked so long each day, each hour but since when I went to university degree. Life has just fast forwarded. Is it me who is feeling this way or days have shortened or as Einstein said time is relative. The invention of phone although made my life really easy as I stay away from family and I long to hear for them but at the same time it has taken my life out of life.

I only wish I could go back to 1990’s and ask the time to slow down and give me another chance again to grow up this time differently with the wisdom I carry now. Things could have been differnt if I was only wise. People say not to dwell on past, not to overthink and go with the flow but although the days are passing, my empty space remains and I do not know how I should fill it!!!